Shocking news: I went to a bookstore without the boy

I was in a bookstore without the boy.  This fact is monumental.  It's nice to (politely) push through crowds of people interested in buying books as opposed to talking robotic dogs, but still... The holiday shopping crush is amazing.  Older men wandered through the cookbooks squinting to read wish lists, and a guy in the travel section shouted into his cell phone: "Mom!  No listen.  Does Grandpa have any interest in traveling around the United States?  No, Grandpa.  The United States.  Has he expressed any interest in traveling around the United States?  Does he want to look around the country?" 

I picked up a book for mothers and turned it over: "You need this book if you think a dental visit is an opportunity to relax."  Victoria Beckham has a massively heavy book on the main tables, where a random page informed me that your bra does not have to match your knickers.  Really, it was chaos as I wandered but I was calm.  Happy.  Troubling, however, was the realization a half hour in that I'm lost in a bookstore these days.  I've never been lost in bookstores.  Secondary to libraries they are a home away from home.  It's something about this mama life I live where the latest craft book doesn't quite seem financially justifiable when a little imagination and a library visit might suffice.  Cookbooks are good eye candy, but if we're on the up and up here I usually don't use them.  The parenting section is babies, babies, babies and there is NO ROOM for a baby here (see: house hunting gone awry entries).  There's barely room for a little food and clothing in this house.  So I started to feel unease once I made it to the organizational and cleaning book section because I worry that once you feel too much interest in such things your priorities have shifted dangerously.  Where does that leave me?  I parent, clean, cook, craft. 

I almost ran out of the children's section with the noise and the crying (kids) and the yelling (parents) and the stuff.  It's really not about the books in the kids' section anymore.  It's about merchandise and it makes me so sad.  You have to work to find the good stuff, avoiding the screaming five foot+ folks as you do so. 

So I hit fiction and it was silent, calm, full.  Oh, yes, I thought to myself; this is the home away from home.  These stories take you places, opening your world up a little bit at a time.  Synapses fire with tomes like these but, then again, it was silent, calm, full.  What does this say about the world that merchandise fills the space for young dreams in words, and silence roams the space of bigger volumes.  Where are the bigger buyers?  Where are the readers?  Then again, I myself hesitate to spend money on my beloved fiction because I parent, clean, cook, (and try to) craft then pick up a book at 11 p.m. and slip into sleep.  I take chances on authors via the library and I hate the formulas; publishers seem to hesitate as much as me and everything seems the same.  And bad. 

A huge poster in the children's section, viewed in a blur as I fled, read something to the effect of: Books make safe gifts for kids.  Safe gifts?  The treasures of words that tell stories that create dreams?  This is idiotic campaigning that turns the best "things" into simply an alternative for plastic manufactured in China, or even just something with which you can't go wrong.  Books aren't safe.  They are a ticket from the mundane, they're your future and a past.  Books support intelligence.  They archive and transport ideas that can change the world or even (or more importantly) "just" you.  Whoever designed the campaign wasn't at that same bookstore at 2 a.m. the morning of the last Harry Potter release, where wristbands adorned everyone lined throughout the store and one guy made a break for it.  Picture him running across the darkened parking lot, security guards chasing and yelling, trying to get somewhere far away to read a book he didn't have the patience (or money) to purchase.

Quiet time away is so essential for this life of mothering.  Part of that time needs to be reading, again.  Whether or not Grandpa has considered US travel, maybe he would if he was given a really good book to encourage him.  Olivia (Falconer) is better without the stuffed animal distraction.  In addition to Country Wisdom & Know-How, Clean House- Clean Planet (Logan), and Roots, Shoots, Buckets & Boots I did come away with The Inheritance of Loss (Desai) and Roald Dahl Collected Stories (Everyman's Library) for my wish list.  Desai wrote one of my all-time favorite (it came as a total surprise) books: Hullabaloo in the Guava Orchard.  I've read and loved just about everything ever published by Roald Dahl but this new collection is a really great selection of his stories for adults.  With a little time away I realized my priorities are actually right where they should be.  Forget a visit to the dentist; I just need to read more.

While I'm on it I'm reading and really enjoying Plenty (Smith & Mackinnon) and did not like Animal, Vegetable, Miracle... (Kingsolver) one little bit.         

Comments

[Holly]

Thank you for this post. I nearly cried as I read it. I just got back from a trip to the bookstore (and other places), but I had my two year old with me. It was such a frustrating afternoon, not a good mommy moment. I've been home for ten minutes, and my daughter is asleep, and I opened your blog, and I can breathe. So thank you.

[emily]

your bookstore experience resonates for me. the buy/borrow piece, the identity piece, the crazy shopping at this time of year piece.

i am dying to hear more about how you didn't like animal, vegetable, miracle. i loved it. but i'm really curious to hear your take.

[Stacie.Make.Do.]

I saw that sign about books being safe gifts and thought it was insane. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

[kirsten]

i love this post! especially the 'safe gift' part. Merry Christmas, beth!

[Carrie]

Hey Beth,

I am so glad to find your blog--your writing is wonderful. Safe books?....Don't all bookstores and libraries have a banned book month each October? I hope to run into you and the boy in town this season and would love to chat crafts with you, too.

[Lil' d]

I had a brief experience like this last week - only my husband was in the car waiting and I knew I was going to be in trouble for taking too long , especially as I came out with a book as well as the gift card I had been sent in for...

It was worth it, though, for 10 minutes of browsing, without having to hush the kids every 5 seconds.

[Shannon]

Wonderful thoughts! I love visiting the Library by myself as I always have kids in tow....but whoops! I work in one. I get to do it all the time and I'm so thankful for those little moments.

My secret little pleasure is visiting the grocery store by myself. My second's nickname is Octopus if that gives you an idea of my shopping challenges. Shannon