First entry in the home category

Really what's been on my mind lately, as I write about mittens and two year old birthday presents, has been a house.  Well, Handmade Holidays tutorials and a house.  We have a great, little place in a neighborhood we love.  It's the "after" of a big fix-up and beautify project, but it's someone else's after.  We're renting and I think I've harbored a lot of bad feelings about that recently, though I know I shouldn't.  People make so many quick judgments about such things, and it drives me nuts.  I think renting is a really smart idea when certain factors come together, but I also feel like buying is the right choice at a certain point.  We moved away from Seattle in (life) steps and with both moves the feasibility of finding what we want increased, even as our choices (the boy and one of us at home) seemed to push it out of the way.  Along the way we paid for degrees and took turns looking for dream jobs; I think there was a six month overlap where we both had "real, adult," full-time jobs right before the boy was born and we tucked one income away then for a rainy day.  We finally worked it out so it's possible, with a nice cushion for improvements and "oh dear" issues that inevitably pop up, but whatever we find will take us out of the "after" and move us to the "before," in a not-nearly-as-nice-neighborhood.  Money will also be tight again.  It's been so nice to gradually loosen these past two years, to rent a movie every so often or buy the good cheese.

I know we're ready though.  Ready for a home of our own where we can paint anything whatever color we choose, plant where we want and watch it and our family grow and thrive.  The whole house-looking and buying process is big, especially for someone who freaks out about change (seriously, when anything changes I experience minor to major discomfort... Difficult when life = change).  In the price range we're looking at the homes inside are, well, "Ewwww..."  I've got vision though, perhaps too much vision, and I can mentally clean, paint, move our furniture in and picture our family life just about anywhere within five minutes.  The mix of vision and reality and what ifs and oh dears with concern about finances has made me a bundle of nerves lately; one thought tempers the next and they all slug it out with the practical, the numbers, the elusive...  Every time I sit these past few days I cross my legs and shake the hanging one incessantly, without realizing it, nerves escaping.  All of that energy easily transfers to the boy so we're all wound up, spinning, shaking, dreaming and worrying. 

We found a place we could love and it needs some major work.  For the most part it's major work we could do (with a little knowledgeable guidance) and we could live in the place as we work.  We're fairly certain the bones are good and, if we progress to mutual acceptance on the asking price, we'll have a really good home inspection to help us (hopefully, mostly) avoid big unknowns. 

I've always had a thing for old barns.  It's actually one of the few, distinct loves and fascinations I can remember having as a child that has carried on through adulthood (along with books and the color blue).  I love the history of old structures and always want to fix them up; I don't know where I fall on the mix of nature and nurture in development but I do know there's a little of both in this love.  We have a rich family background of restoration work on Victorians, of learning through doing while fixing, of falling in love with what others can't quite envision and of sacrificing a bit for big goals.  It's not a barn, but the fascination and vision is there.  I think 99 out of a 100 people would glance at this place, guffaw and move on.  I suppose that's just what you want when you're the 1 out of a 100, and we are.  I had no idea how many different steps in the home-buying process there are where you can step away and move on to the next dream.  I don't know if our (low) offer will fly and I don't know if we'll find anything big to get in the way after that.  I suppose we'll all find out.  I do find a sense of calm in my determined feeling that if it's meant to be it will work out and if not, something else will come along.  I actually also find peace in getting this all down here because, other than foot shaking, it's been bottled up for a month. 

There are a lot of issues to resolve before anything gets really serious.  We laugh because we couldn't just go through the regular stresses of buying a house; we had to find one with all sorts of big issues just before our real estate fellow headed out for a vacation.  I spent the last two days annoying everyone who works for the city and energy company.  I talked with building people and planning people on opposite sides of a '60's room rife with fierce adherence to small bits of power.  We dropped ladybug boots in offices over four city blocks.  When it all got to be too much the boy and I walked over to the Japanese garden, connected via a parking lot to City Hall, and meditated a bit next to maple leaves floating over shy Koi.  No matter what happens in the next week or so (month or so?) I've learned a lot.  I feel like an adult.  I'm confident that we're ready for a big project and our next steps.    

Comments

[Trina]

We'll help. Just let us know! Good luck.

[Holly]

Congratulations! What a wonderful step your family is taking. Whatever house you make your home will be full of life and beauty in no time at all, I'm sure of it.

[emily]

i found the house-hunting process to be nerve-wracking. because i, too, am easily unsettled by change of all sorts. i love how you say - that life = change. it's true. smooth sailing to you.

[Sarah Jackson]

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts while you go through this. The right home for you will work out.

[kirsten]

good luck. i remember the renting/buying stuff. we bought 5 years ago almost. big decisions are awful. rent until you're ready, though!

[Lisa]

I always think what will be will be, and hopefully things will work out for you. It's so stressful when buying, especially when you think you've found the perfect place. Sometimes though, if it doesn't work out, it's for the better.

[molly]

i know it is stressful, but it's exciting, too, isn't it? do we get to see pictures?!

keep us posted on the process. it's probably good to unload. this is the place.

[molly]

one more thing-have you read "A Barn in New England" by Joseph Monniger? It is such a great book about their change from city to country, and renovating their barn. I think you'd love it!